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my name is

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Pamulang, Indonesia
damn my education, i can't find the words to say about the things caught in my mind. always dreaming, never realizing. the in-between girl, trapped in reality while longing for the fantasy. have a thing for Noel Gallagher and obsessed with UK.

Feb 22, 2012

strangers, again.

Hey you.
yeah you over there, the one with the grimly face and seemingly lost in this so-called life,

i don't know what's happening, but it seems like there's something happened between us. i still don't know what that is, but i'm not gonna look around and trying to find out what that is. i don't wanna dig up. probably just gonna leave it for the best. all i know is something's changed. and it changed out of a sudden. maybe it's you, or maybe it's me, or maybe it's both of us. i really couldn't careless. but the thing is, we lost something that we used to have. you're not like the guy i used to hang around with.

suddenly i don't know you anymore.

i thought i did. all those meaningless talk about ourselves, about our hopes and dreams, i thought all of those were some of my way of getting to know you. my way of getting to learn something about you in a hope that someday i'll be able to understand you.

well i thought i did, but you're just one hell of a mysterious guy. i just can't read you. you're unexpectable. no one knows what you're intend to do or which way you're gonna go. you're living your life in a constant improvisation. i can't follow that. i'm just so freaking tired of guessing of what you might or might not do. because frankly, i just can't predict you.

you might be feeling a little over the top when i said all of the above, but hey, that was just my guess. i'm tired of being a pawn in your chess game, at least that's what i've been feeling the whole time, even though i didn't mind it at first.
i wanna quit. but one does not simply quit this mind game. every time that i had the thought of get it over with you, you just found another way of pulling me back in. why is that?

well i don't wanna try to understand anymore. i'm done.
sadly my curiosity won't let my mind have some rest anytime soon.

well can you please at least try to stop all these mind games over me?

..or maybe you're not playing games at all, and all this time it's just i who is unable to see the whole picture?

[sigh].

Cheers,
-maulidadisa-